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| Can you love an underage girl and not be a paedophile? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 9 2015, 03:26 PM (3,515 Views) | |
| + Pelador | Jun 9 2015, 03:26 PM Post #1 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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Obviously the definition of a paedophile is someone with a sexual interest in under age girls. However, what if it's just this one girl that you've known for years and you discover she's really great and everything you'd look for in a person? What if you were just friends initially and you found yourself having feelings over time like you would with an adult? Does that make you a paedophile? Especially if you have no sexual interest in anyone else that age. This must make a person in this situation feel terribly confused and conflicted. I certainly wouldn't know what to do. Try to bury my feelings and hope she moves away I suppose. Just to be clear I am thankfully not in this situation. I don't actually have any friends. |
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| Dankness Lava | Jun 9 2015, 03:30 PM Post #2 |
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Dankness Forever
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Quite concerned about this you seem, my friend. You would technically have pedophilic desires should that happen, that's how I see it. That person should never let the desires be more than thoughts, not even spoken out. Maybe to a close friend or a counselor, otherwise you will be pretty harshly judged I believe. |
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| + Ginyu | Jun 9 2015, 03:30 PM Post #3 |
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Leve Feyenoord 1!
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Things like this are always pretty easy because terms have definitions: "Pedophilia or paedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children" [1] Not sure if this is the official one, but I'm pretty sure this is an official definition. As you can see the definition involves the word 'sexual' before it mentions 'attraction'. That would be pedophilia in a medical sense, so as far as that goes no. Pedophilia however also has a legal meaning. And as long as there is no sex I don't think there is any illegality in what you describe. Lastly there is the moral definition of pedophilia, but I'm not going to talk about that because in that case it's about personal opinion and there is no right or wrong answer. [1]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia Edited by Ginyu, Jun 9 2015, 03:32 PM.
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| Sasuke | Jun 9 2015, 03:43 PM Post #4 |
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Isn't pedophile an exclusive interest in children the age of prepubescent? First give terms to what you mean by 'underage'? I l'm 23 and I could see myself being attracted to 18 or 17 year old that looks older than her age. There is no shame in admitting this as sexual attraction is normal. However I understand perfectly well what the laws are in my country and the type of social stigma I'd receive for possible open sexual relationship with 17 year old minor. If I really wanted the relationship I'd keep it platonic until she was at a age more appropriate or just leave it all together. Now if this was me and I had an interest in a child, I would seek a councilor but be wary of certain ones that would have you brought up for charges on simple notion that you could have sexual attraction to a child. This opinion I have lacks a ton for I don't have a attraction for children and thus lose any semblance of actual empathy for someone who suffers from this dilemma. |
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| SpeedoTrunks | Jun 9 2015, 05:10 PM Post #5 |
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As mentioned above, what does "under age" constitute. the legal age for sex in the UK is 16, so 15 or below? Personally even though I'm from the UK, I count 18 as the "respectful" age to be doing anything, because I recall being 18 and having greater understanding of things, than I did at 16. Its a very grey area, as people have already said pedophilia seems to link with like "really young" children, but to have sex with anybody under the age of 16 (in the UK at least) is illegal, so does that make you a pedophile for doing? It depends on your motives and age I would personally suggest, IE if you're 16 and you have a younger girlfriend, does that count, probably not but its still illegal yet most lads in the UK are having sex either in/around 16, or some doing so younger than that. It'll vary from country to country and the respective laws, but who knows. It's not something I've thought about in great detail. I presume if you truely "felt love" for somebody who is underage, you would allow them to grow up first and see what happens in/around that time. |
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| sekzee | Jun 9 2015, 05:13 PM Post #6 |
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And then you realize that 'women' were impregnated by much older men by the age of 13 in many, many cultures for ages. Having a sexual desire for prepubescent children, on the other hand, is an entirely different story. |
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| Cloud | Jun 9 2015, 05:21 PM Post #7 |
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Depends on your state. My state's age of consent is weird. It's 14 if you are within 36 months of age of the 14 year old or their spouse. It's under 14 if you are within 24 months of age of the 14 year old or their spouse. Then for all other people age of consent is 16 for no holds bars. Now the punishment for statutory rape varies as well. If you are 18 but younger than 21 the sentence is only up to 5 years. If you are 21 or older the sentence is up to 30 years. Where I'm from originally, Texas, age of consent there is 18 no matter what... unless your on a Military Base where the age of consent on military bases are 16 no matter their location. |
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| SpeedoTrunks | Jun 9 2015, 05:27 PM Post #8 |
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That is so random, and why is it so different for military bases? Plus, is it literally just on the base, or are there rules like you have to work for the armed forces etc? Crazy! |
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| * Mitas | Jun 9 2015, 05:29 PM Post #9 |
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It truly was a Shawshank redemption
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I was always under the impression that paedophilia was the exclusive and targeted interest in underage children (not just young children either, anything up to the age of consent). At least legally/medically speaking. It's the fact that they are underage/children that you are attracted to, and not the girl/boy themselves. So in the scenario you put forward, yes you can have feelings for an underage girl without being a paedophile, if it's not their age that you are interested in (unless paedophilia is just any relationship between an underage and an overage person, in which case, no you can't). Morally (as in, if the person isn't a paedophile, but just finds themselves in the one-off scenario you mentioned) is a different question. People will have different views on it, especially the older the overage person, and the younger the underage person, becomes, and as a general rule I would imagine it would be frowned upon (and obviously illegal if any sexual activity was undertaken with an underage party). Even if its a unique situation, where you are not exclusively attracted to underage children and target them, but find yourself attracted to one underage person in particular, I would find it a little strange. Underage here is 15 and I really couldn't see anyone 20 and over having anything in common with a 15 year old, let alone 12/13/14 (I went on a date with a 19 year old when I was 24 and there was a slight maturity difference even then). I'm not sure what the law is on grooming. If, say, a 21 year old entered into a relationship with a 15 year old, and they waited until the 15 year old was of legal age (16 here), would that count as grooming? |
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"Then you've got the chance to do better next time." "Next time?" "Course. Doing better next time. That's what life is." | |
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| Buuberries | Jun 9 2015, 05:36 PM Post #10 |
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No
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old enough to bleed, old enough to breed. but yeah we'd have to define terms and stuff. and how old are we talking about? Edited by Buuberries, Jun 9 2015, 05:38 PM.
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| Cloud | Jun 9 2015, 05:54 PM Post #11 |
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Because they are their own "State Laws" They are IN the state but they are not PART of the state. Taxes are different (as in none) and various random state laws don't apply. It's weird. The base is like an isolated bubble. |
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| + Pelador | Jun 9 2015, 06:48 PM Post #12 |
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Crazy Awesome Legend
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I think that anybody who ends up in the scenario I described should have the decency and self control to avoid doing anything sexual. As hard as it maybe, the best option would be to completely avoid contact the person until they are older. You risk getting caught up in the grooming laws otherwise. |
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| + QueenTD | Jun 9 2015, 06:55 PM Post #13 |
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My Dear Melancholy,
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Nope! Old enough to count, old enough to mount |
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| Krystal | Jun 10 2015, 03:38 AM Post #14 |
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Cooking Mama
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Nope. Prebubescent means "before puberty." Pedophiles are attracted to the underdeveloped form, and in this age, usually means kids under 13 since we develop so early. If a man saw a 15 year old who looks like a 20 year old and is attracted to her, is he instantly a pedophile? Of course not, especially if she had the vavavoom figure associated with a mature woman. Even if he had sex with her, he would not be a pedophile; he would be a child predator because she was underage and therefore could not legally give consent. A man who has sex with an underage person is considered a lredator. Not all predators are pedophiles, and not all pedophiles act out on their attractions and become predators. However, pedophiles who do act out usually do so with such young victims for a multitude of reasons; they may not be able to speak yet to tell on them, or they may be easy to manipulate, they still need childcare, etc... |
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| lucrowe | Jun 10 2015, 04:03 AM Post #15 |
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If you're attracted to a teenager, you're not a pedophile. If you have sex with a teenager, that's statutory r@pe; NOT pedophilia. In other words, if you have sexual relations with a teenager who legally can't consent then you've committed statutory r@pe. If you perform sexual acts with a prepubescent child then you're a pedophile. Thems the rules, plain and simple! There's nothing wrong with being attracted to a teenager. They can be very good looking. But it is wrong to have sex with one, so if that's the angle you're trying to work, you may wanna wait till she's legal. Hate to see a pretty lil thing like you locked up for falling in love. Sorry about the 'r@pe' it won't let me send it with the actual word even though i clicked continue because it's fine >=( same thing happens when i try to send anything with the word 'g@y' in it. Wtf? Edited by lucrowe, Jun 10 2015, 04:06 AM.
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